Butterflies are incredible insects. We marvel at their beauty, but seldom take time to dissect their journey, imagine their experience, or appreciate the shedding of their old selves in pursuit of their new. They are transformative creatures which, in many ways, are illustrative of our own journeys. While butterflies begin as caterpillars and wrap themselves in a protective cocoon before springing forth as unique beauties; we as humans when cloaked in shame, anger, and grief can become immersed in such a cocoon until our emboldened selves emerge. As a Black woman in the United States, I have had to trust my cocoon to shape my vision and light my fire. Though my transformational process was unique to my life experience, it is intermingled with the same shame, grief and anger experienced by conscious Whites who engage the work of dismantling racism and repaying America’s debt.

Most often, reparations is seen as a handout… a form of charity… a check. In reality, reparations is a payment owed to the descendants of enslaved Africans who were deprived of their dignity and systematically excluded from the benefits of Western success. Reparations is the work of repairing the harm that was done. Reparations is the butterfly birthed when White people dive deeper into their whiteness. It is what happens when the shame of family secrets, the grief of losing images of “good” ancestors, and the anger in discovering the extent to which white people have gone to maintain their privilege. Reparations are what happens when the light comes on and the settled dust is revealed.

Alone, those interested in paying the debts of their ancestors make great efforts to do so on seemingly small scales. They work to return land, and assist black families with maintaining familial land. Others release acquired family fortunes to pay for education, job training, and opportunity creating resources for the historically excluded. Some have little to offer the descendants of those their families have enslaved except acknowledgement, honesty, and apologies. Repair.

I had always understood reparations to be a one time financial payment. What I have come to understand from my cocoon is that local reparationists are doing the work of local repair. This work does not rest in my hands only, nor does it fit snugly within the grasp of white fingertips alone. Rather, reparations are a feat that can only be achieved in unison. I must raise my voice, fight for the cause, and remain open to repair. They must listen to the truth, work as allies at the frontline, and do with a purpose whatever reparative work they find to do. Though the work seems small, and at times insignificant we are initiating a greater work. We are weaving the cocoon necessary to turn the American caterpillar into a butterfly. “Shame, grief, and anger are real, but you’re not allowed to sit in it.” America must allow itself to be transformed by it, and make efforts to repair at the national level. That is where the butterfly must take flight.